sunnuntai, 15. helmikuu 2009

Moving my residence

I have moved.

From now on I keep my Very private and Secret Diary at


And of course, you should not read that one over there either.


perjantai, 9. tammikuu 2009

Happy Birthday To Me...

I just came here to inform all you countless readers of this blog that here I am, sitting at the party table, stuffing disgustingly sweet cake with heavy cream topping into my not so enthusiastic mouth, swinging my head (with a Birthday Cone Hat made of colourfully decorated paper) happily while listening my dear friends sing me "Happy Birthday to you", eager to get my hold on the promising pile of presents...

You didn't believe one word of it, did you?

Well then. These jubilees just seem to rush over me like never ending express train. Halloween, Thanks Giving, Christmas, New Year, Epiphany, Birthday... The worst is still to be expected though. It's the 14th of February. So compared to it, this might turn out to be almost like anyday. I'm ever so wishfull that it remains that way until the day is over.

sunnuntai, 4. tammikuu 2009

Another ruddy new year ahead of me

The new year, bright, shiny and pure, holding possibilities and promises of new beginnings... for those dumb enough to believe it's mendaciously luring voice. So, nothing new for me there, is it? I'm more likely to wade my way through the same old, same old... Shouldn't be so confusing, so what's that stinging pain in my chest then? Sorry, I've no intentions to whine. It's just that new years should be illegitimate for those of us who has nothing to wait, nothing to hope for. Whining again, am I?


Happy new year to all of you, dumb ones. I know enough of man's nature not to wish all your dreams to come true. But maybe one of them. One tiny little fantasy that you didn't think was really important. May that be fulfilled and bring slender rays of happines to your ordinary life. That's all. It should be enough.

torstai, 25. joulukuu 2008

Merry Gloomy Christmas

I have been utterly occupied over a month now. I will not bore you with details of my tiresome tasks. I only mentioned it because someones here were bending to hilarious but incorrect assumptions about me being dead once again. As if that could be possible.

You want to hear about my Christmas? It was dark and gloomy and so it totally met my expectations. I received one gift though, as an exception to the rule. And it was quite succesful gift too (another exception to the rule). A nice bottle of good red wine and a movie with lots of blood and revenging for sake of long lost love. That should be fun enough.

torstai, 13. marraskuu 2008

Something between me and Lily Evans

Oh my J.K. Rowling (we were never allowed to say that in the books, though I always considered it to be a much better wizardish substitution to "Oh my God!" than "Holy Merlin!" and it's all more or less pitiful variations), who did I find in my comments box if not Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived... to be a constant pain in my certain body part. You actually had the nerve to come here and claim your right to know the truth about me and your late mother. Such an impudent, inconsiderate boy, in other words Gryffindor, you are. *sigh*

But you have managed to polish your expression, and your manners too seem to be perfected a little since your childhood days. And what comes to your sons name (Albus Severus Potter) it has a certain clang to it. How did they say it sounded... oh yes, like a slash threesome, indeed. Anyway, the gesture is appreciated, not merely ridiculed.

As I'm not sure how familiar you are with your mothers past, and therefore mine too, I have to start from the beginning. But don't even think I'm going to give you any details! You asked what there was between me and Lily Evans, so here it comes.

We happened to live quite near each others as a child. We met accidentally, found we had certain things in common and we enjoyed our time spent together. Naturally we grew up to be very good friends. We were more than happy to realise we could both attend the School of Hogwarts, but little did we know what importance our ill-fated sorting to different houses had to our destinies ahead. We still managed to maintain our precious friendship while at school, though it came harder year by year. Not least because of your father and his associates. Everybody loved Lily. She was amazing, in every aspect. We had many severities on our way, but we could surpass all of them. Until one day... something very unfortunate happened, and we could no longer carry on as we had used to. So, James Potter managed to soften her heart, I gave my allegiance elsewhere while searching constancy and reverence from another direction and the rest is history know to all.

You know I loved her. I loved her more than anything. And when I misconceively thought I had lost her, I thought I had lost everything. Nothing mattered anymore. I was such a fool... such an insecure and overly emotional fool. So, I deserved every second of my miserable and lonely life, cause I knew it was all my fault. But... no need to dwell in that anymore.

So, from past to present. As I managed to deceive death and freed myself from its mortal grip, I accidentally learnt more about alternative universes. I learnt that there are myriads of alternative life paths, both in the past and in the future, that are just waiting to be explored by an investigator aptitude enough. Ever since I have been privileged enough to be in contact with my alternative younger self and Lily, as I once knew her. She's not your mother though, as she has chosen a different lifepath, that is remarkable divergent from the one known to so many. I know this is not an easy thing to understand, but you may as well keep her as an old man's delusion. Because that's what she is to you.

The Pensieve

Some other memories

And some more

  • Hecklers were from

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    I'm Snape. Severus Snape.

    And this is my very private, secret diary. Being a wizard gives me some priviledges... So this is a Magic Diary. I write something almost everyday.

    Ask me anything. I just might answer.

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